Whose rules are you following?

Do you play by the rules?

Defer to your boss?

Lead with gratitude?

Keep your head down and just keep looking for the good?

Dot all the "i's"

Volunteer because "you have the time."

Listen, I'm about it if you have the results you want in your life.

What if you stopped following someone else's manual for what it means to be a good mom, good wife, good employee, good citizen, good sister, good daughter...

Is that even an option?

Yup.

But here's what happens.

You start to question the rules and then...

You are like...

Rules are all I know.

So, where do I get new rules?

I asked myself the same thing.

I tapped into ...

French women - tried it.

CEO women - tried it.

Pampered wives - tried it.

Smith women (my alma mater) - tried it.

Ladies who lunch - tried it.

Feminist women - tried it.

Pious women - tried it.

Sensual women - tried it.

Until I asked the most sacred question....

What do I want to do?

Who do I want to be?

How do I want to show up?

And, then almost immediately I thought...

Do I even get to ask this question?

Who will I piss off if I choose differently?

Who will I let down if I choose differently?

Who will think I'm settling if I choose differently?

Who will think I'm not driven if I choose differently?

Who will think I am too driven if I choose differently?

If you think answering this is scary... guess what is scarier?

Not answering these questions.

Following someone else's rules.

And, here's what dear woman.

YOU GET TO DECIDE.

And what I have found over and over with my clients is that

once they decide (and I invite them to decide with grace and not anger, not because anger is not allowed, but because grace creates more expansiveness, more opportunity, more sexy)

is that there are hiccups and some negotiating and some readjustments and then

FREEDOM

say it with me

FREEDOM

So, when I became aware of what rules I was following that I did not write, man, my world opened up.

I don't have to be a stressed out working mom or

I don't have to get my fulfillment only from my kids or

I don't have to love only serving my kids or my husband.

I don't have to want a cross fit body or

I don't have to love bible studies or

I don't have to want to be in a tennis contract or

I don't have to want to canvas our neighborhood for "our candidate."

I can love work, go on girls trips with a bit of "turn that camera off moments", make good money, adore my husband, be an amaze bomb school volunteer, and still love to nap all Saturday afternoon.

And, just like that ... we all won.

Seriously. WON.

I am not an actress.

Actually, I never even really liked the theater (judge me, I'm cool with that)

So, why would I be reading a script written by anyone other than moi?

(But if Matthew M "needed" me for a movie version of Greenlights, I am so there for him.... please it's for thee arts...)

Here's today's take away.

You can only be you when you know who you is.

I'm telling you what you already know

It is exhausting to be who you are not.

I did it.

No merci.

I have created my own rule book.

Not intentionally, but I think I defy categorization.

Go me.

The more I get coached, the more real I get.

Or ... should I say... the more real I get, the more my coaching propels me.

Hmmmm...

Gurl,

Come to my side...

We eat carbs....

I'm waiting for you.